Now, I had every intention of coming home and slavishly writing paragraph after paragraph on the wonders of Japanese TV, but not only did I not see that much of it, what I did see was exactly the way you’d think it would be.
Everything in Japan, well Tokyo at least, is bonkers. By which I mean it’s loud and bright and brash and in your face. All the time. Forever. The telly is no exception. It’s also very pink. You don’t tend to see much pink in advertising or on shop fronts in the West unless they’re specifically aiming themselves at little girls. But then adults in Japan to tend to mirror the tastes of young girls elsewhere in the world, not that’s necessarily a bad thing, obviously I find Hello Kitty endlessly fascinating, but there’s only so many times you can hear “kawai” (cute) being screeched by grown ups without wanting to slap them.
I spent a good half an hour watching three men and a lady each tasting some food and then laughing at each other. I got the impression that it was some kind of gameshow where one of them was playing pranks on the others, but I could be completely mistaken. Then in another round they each spoke and then revealed identical looking plates of pasta from a silver salver, there seemed to be some suspense about this pasta, but in each case a man in a wacky jumper seemed to be telling them they’d chosen correctly.
For some respite I also spent a while watching Japanese QVC. It’s still called QVC (but don’t get me started on the way they appropriate English for their own uses, yet don’t speak it. I don’t need everyone in the world to speak English, but if you can’t then please stop walking around wearing t-shirts bearing nonsensical English slogans. It’s like British people getting tattoos of words in languages they can’t even read. I’ll stop now.) QVC was reassuringly familiar, and predictBly they were selling a BB Cream – they really are huge over there. Watching this I think I learned where I’ve been going wrong, the lady doing the demo spent an extraordinarily long time applying it. Then again if I have to do that in a morning before work then it’s a product that isn’t going to work for me.
Disappointingly I didn’t have the stomach for any Japanese gameshows, but I did watch and listen to lots of terrible music. I have a new favourite song, and here it is. Enjoy!